So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
