i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
