just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
