420 ftw
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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