I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I will be naked everywhere
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
