Ketchup is God's man juice
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
