did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
