I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
