therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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