if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
