You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
