Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Randomize
