When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
