Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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