dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
