i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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