I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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