Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
