they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize