i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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