i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
