Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
