ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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