i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
