i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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