I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
