I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
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