Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
