He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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