She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
