don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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