thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
