I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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