If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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