i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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