He asked to "fluff my boner.."
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Randomize
