No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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