I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
sick fucks of a feather flock together
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
