Well douche your snatch and let's go!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
ok first of all what the fuck
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
