Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
