No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
