Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
