I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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