after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
