the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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