I must be too annoying 4 u.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
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i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
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So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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