I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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