Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
