In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
