benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
