I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
