i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize