I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize