went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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