not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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