make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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