Duck Duck Cougar?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
