i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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