And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
