if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We were destined to go to rehab together
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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